Never feel stupid !!

 

BRAIN CRAMPS


Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer:  "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but  we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live  forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

``````````````````````````````````

"Whenever  I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I  can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not  with all those flies and death and stuff."    

--Mariah  Carey

````````````

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke  Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal  anti-smoking campaign .

`````````````````````````````````````````````````

"I've  never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"      
--Winston  Bennett,   University  of Kentucky  basketball forward.

`````````````````````````````````````````````

"Outside  of the killings, Washington  has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor  Marion Barry,   Washington , DC .

````````````````````````````````````````````````````

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.

````````````````````````````

"Half  this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia  Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

``````````````````````````````````

"It  isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in  our air and water that are doing it."
--Al  Gore, Vice President
 
```````````````````


"I  love California .  I practically grew up in Phoenix ."
--Dan  Quayle

``````````


"We've  got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca

```````````

"The  word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like  Norman Einstein."

--Joe  Theisman,  NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

````````````````````````````````````````````


"We  don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel  Gerald  Wellman, ROTC  Instrutor.

`````````

"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

````````````````

"Your  food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department  of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

````````````````````````````````````````````


"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they  go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And  the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a  record"
--Mark  S.  Fowler,  FCC Chairman
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 

Confidentiality Notice: This e-mail message, including any attachments, is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information.  Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited.  If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message.